Cape Town: Where you'll sell your soul for a sea view shack

Cape Town has officially become the most expensive place in Africa to buy property, because who needs food or healthcare when you can have a view of Table Mountain? According to the Africa Wealth Report (totally a real and not-at-all-made-up report), prime real estate in Cape Town now costs a mere R102,750 per square meter. That's right, folks, you can pay a million rand for a tiny studio apartment and still have enough left over for a decent used car... or a year's worth of avocado toast.

Isn't it amazing how this luxury property boom is happening in a country where the majority struggle to afford basic food? It's like the universe decided to play a cruel joke on the poor, making the rich even richer and the views even more breathtaking. The report also reveals that property prices in Cape Town have skyrocketed by a whopping 160% since 2010, while Johannesburg lagged behind with a paltry growth rate of less than half that. Clearly, Cape Town's stunning natural beauty and lack of affordable housing are a perfect combination for the ultra-wealthy.

So if you're looking to buy a prime apartment in Cape Town (100m²-200m², because anything smaller would be uncivilized), be prepared to take out a second mortgage on your soul. And don't even get us started on the rental market – you'll be lucky if you can afford a cardboard box in a trendy neighborhood.

Local really is lekker!