From Jean Anderson

Question: I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back. What do I do?

The Gray Shrink: You're not the first – not the last, so deal with it. Move on. Hello ... 8 billion other people on the planet. And make sure you're talking about love, not lust. 

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From Puppy-Pod

Question: I feel so insecure about my looks. How can I boost my confidence?

The Gray Shrink: Let's forget about your looks for a sec. I'm more insecure about the alias you've used when submitting your problem – I'd be shaky about that if I were you. Regarding your looks – who f***ing cares! Ed Sheeran isn't a Brad Pitt lookalike but he's killing it doing his thing. How superficial are you? Get over yourself and do some chores, maybe that'll help you feel more grounded.

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From Laura

Question: My best friend is moving away and I feel devastated. How do I cope?

The Gray Shrink: Friendships are like tissues – use 'em and throw 'em away. You'll make new ones. The fact that you actually took the time to type that ridiculous "problem" is more concerning. Call 'em on the phone, damnit. Make plans to see each other again. Seriously? Get back to us when you have real problems.

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From Tom G

Question: I'm stressed about my job and feeling burnt out. What should I do?

The Gray Shrink: I doubt you work for free, so quit whining. Everyone's stressed. Do your job or get a new one. Simple.

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From Busi

Question: I had a huge fight with my sister and I don't know how to make up. How do I fix it?

The Gray Shrink: Who cares? Siblings fight. You'll survive. Maybe next time don't be so f***ing sensitive.

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From Bianca

Question: I'm having trouble deciding what to wear to a party. Help!

The Gray Shrink: The reason I insisted on publishing your request was simple, Bianca. I wanted you to read your question – live and online – to see if you'd realize how pathetic you sound. Next ...

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From Mama of 3

Question: I think my husband is cheating on me. What do I do?

The Gray Shrink: Don't know how many "baby daddies" you've got with a name like that – hope it's just one mess. Meanwhile, hire a PI if you wanna waste money on drama. Or, better yet, torture him and do all that movie crap. For now, grow up, take his money, then dump the bastard and move on.

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From Betty D

Question: I'm struggling to find motivation to do my studies. Help me.

The Gray Shrink: Such a cute name. Look, Betty D, nobody cares about your motivation problems. Do the work or drop out. Simple. Life's not about excuses. Help yourself - it's the real world.

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From Turd Crasher

Question: I had a falling out with my parents and it's stressing me out. What should I do?

The Gray Shrink: With a name like Turd Crasher, I'm wondering why they never had the falling out with you. Ask them to contact me and I'll refer a good foster home. Punk!

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From CS Thomson

Question: I'm lonely and don't know how to make friends. Advice?

The Gray Shrink: You're probably nothing to look at and have zero personality. Advice? Put on pants and go outside.