THE GRAY NEWS
beyond black and white
CAPRICORN
December 22 - January 19
THE GOAL-GETTING, MOUNTAIN-CLIMBING, SERIOUS BUSINESS SIGN OF THE ZODIAC. A Capricorn is the ultimate in productivity. If you're born between December 22 and January 19, you're a Capricorn - which means you're wired to climb the corporate ladder, achieve goals like you're on a mission, and maybe stress-eat a few extra papers. Capricorns are an Earth sign ruled by Saturn (the planet of rules), so expect them to be practical like accountants, ambitious like they're running a marathon, and serious like they're at a board meeting. Don't expect Capricorns to slack off - they're too busy leveling up.
April 20, 2026 - April 26, 2026:​
Your "discipline" is just you being a killjoy.
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April 13, 2026 - April 19, 2026:
Buying a mountain, not for the view, but because it’s a "solid investment."
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April 06, 2026 - April 12, 2026:
A strange desire to climb a ladder to the moon will arise.
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March 30, 2026 - April 05, 2026:
Your practical shoes will lead you to a secret room filled with disco balls and a never-ending supply of nachos.
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March 23, 2026 - March 29, 2026:
Don't leave the house this week - you might die.
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March 16, 2026 - March 22, 2026:
Your ambitions will be temporarily overshadowed by an intense craving for pizza.
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March 09, 2026 - March 15, 2026:
Your mountain will turn into a giant pile of jelly.
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March 02, 2026 - March 08, 2026:
Your donkey will turn into a giant rubber chicken.