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INTERVIEW WITH A RETIREE

August 20, 2025

Name: Malcolm Smith

Location: Melbourne, Australia

Details: A retired accountant with not much to do anymore

Conducted by Sophia Patel

QUESTIONS

1. What's the most peculiar thing you've done on a Tuesday?

I made pancakes from scratch.


2. Do you believe in a power nap?

Who doesn't?


3. How do you feel about socks?

I love the wooly ones - my granddaughter bought me a paisley pair for Christmas last year.


4. Ever had a dance battle with an inanimate object?

Only with my walker.


5. What's your strategy for dealing with Mondays?

I garden. Also on Tuesday and Fridays.


6. Do you think cheese is a food group?

I like cheese on crackers - especially mozzarella.


7. How often do you reorganize your thoughts?

Huh?


8. What's your favorite way to procrastinate?

Don't procrastinate, young lady.


9. Ever talked to a plant? What did it say?

I don't understand the question.


10. Do you have a secret talent for weird things?

I can knit - my late wife taught me. You would've liked her.


11. How do you define "adventure"?

Don't remember adventure. There was this one time we went to Prague.


12. What's the last thing you googled out of curiosity?

Is that the social media thing? My granddaughter loves that stuff, and she's really good at it.


13. Do you believe in luck?

I have some Irish blood running through these old veins, of course.


14. How do you handle things that are "too real"?

I like things real - it's the mark of a true man.


15. What's your go-to excuse for weird behavior?

Everything seems weird in today's times.


16. Do you collect anything odd?

Not anymore.


17. How do you feel about pineapple on pizza?

Huh?


18. What's the most spontaneous thing you've done?

A waiter never charged me for a coffee once and I never said anything. Felt guilty for months.


19. Do you have a ritual for calming down?

It's no use getting worked up about anything.


20. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

I do enjoy the Olympics.

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