April 20 - May 20

THE BULL IN THE CHINA SHOP OF ZODIAC. Taurus is like, the second stop on the crazy astrology train, and it's represented by a BULL who's basically just chillin', munching grass, and loving all the comfy, cozy vibes. If you're born between late April and late May, congrats! You're a Taurus - which means you're probably hoarding all the good food, loving luxury, and stubbornly refusing to move from your favorite couch spot. As an Earth sign ruled by Venus (aka the planet of love), Taurus's are all about vibin' with nature, gettin' their chill on, and appreciating the finer things in life ... like food.

April 13 2026 - April 19, 2026:

You will experience a "cosmic hiccup" that makes you hiccup only in 70s rock lyrics.

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April 06 2026 - April 12, 2026:

Your bed will declare independence from your bedroom; stay in it.

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March 30, 2026 - April 05, 2026:

Expect a surprise visit from the ghost of Elvis, who'll be offering to coach you in moonwalking on water.

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March 23, 2026 - March 29, 2026:

A giant spaghetti monster will pay off your debt in chocolate coins.

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March 16, 2026 - March 22, 2026:

Your wallet will start giving you passive-aggressive notes about your spending habits.

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March 09, 2026 - March 15, 2026:

Your prized possessions will turn into horse fodder - be ultra cautious this week.

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March 02, 2026 - March 08, 2026:

Your bull-headed stubbornness will lead to a date with a cab driver posing as a banker.