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ARIES

March 21 - April 19

THE BOSS OF THE ZODIAC. In the utterly-not-made-up context of astrology, Aries is the 'first sign of the zodiac' thingy. This means if you were born between March 21 and April 19, you're basically a fearless, fire-breathing RAM about to charge into every day of the week. It's a FIRE SIGN (like literally on fire), symbolized by a ram who's probably plotting world domination because Aries folks are ALL ABOUT being fiery, confident, and ambitious AF. Expect Aries to lead the charge, bump heads with authority, and maybe accidentally set the couch on fire with their passion. 

September 08, 2025 - September 14, 2025:

You'll superglue your shoes to the floor and become and unlikely expert on footwear immobility.

September 01, 2025 - September 07, 2025:

Expect a zombie apocalypse in your kitchen.

August 25, 2025 - August 31, 2025:

A clown will hijack your dreams.

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