Monaco to become "Pavarotti & Michael" karaoke state

THE EUROPEAN INSIDER

September 14, 1994

MONTE CARLO — In a move that has sent the European aristocracy into a tailspin, rumors are swirling from the French Riviera that pop icon George Michael and opera legend Luciano Pavarotti have entered secret negotiations to purchase the Principality of Monaco. Sources close to the deal—reportedly signed on a cocktail napkin at the Hôtel de Paris—claim the duo plans to retire the monarchy and transform the entire sovereign city-state into the world’s first 24-hour synchronized karaoke municipality.

The plan involves replacing the Monte Carlo Casino with a revolving stage where tourists must sing a duet with the two stars before being allowed to enter the city. "George is tired of the '90s music industry," whispered a source posing as a yacht polisher at Port Hercules. "He and Luciano want a place where the acoustics are perfect and the taxes are non-existent. They plan to install giant subwoofers into the cliffs of the Rock of Monaco so the bass can be heard across the border."

Prince Rainier III has not officially commented, but palace insiders claim he was seen clutching a Wham! cassette tape in a state of visible confusion.

The proposal even suggests replacing the Monaco Grand Prix with a race of motorized pianos, with Elton John serving as the official flag-waver.

While diplomats in Paris worry the noise levels will shatter glass in Nice, fans are already booking flights, hoping for a chance to sing Careless Whisper with a full orchestral backing directed by the Maestro himself.

Blast from the past!