Midget relay mayhem: Oversized batons bring event to grinding halt

SPRINGFIELD, MISSOURI - In a shocking turn of events, the annual Midget Relay in Springfield has been marred by controversy after the batons - tiny little sticks used to pass between athletes - were deemed too big for the miniature athletes.

"It was chaos," said event organizer, Bally McGinty. "The midgets were having a hard time grasping the oversized batons, and it was slowing them down. We had to wave the white flag and call off the event."

According to eyewitnesses, the midgets were seen struggling to wrap their tiny hands around the batons, which were apparently designed for full-sized humans. "It was like they were trying to hold a giant sausage," said one spectator.

The decision to use oversized batterns has been met with widespread criticism from the midget community. "It's a travesty," said Drew, a local midget athlete. "We've been training for months, and they can't even get the batons right."

The Midget Relay organizers have apologized for the mistake and promised to downsize the batons for next year's event.

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